Just Because You Don’t Enjoy the Holidays Doesn’t Make You The Grinch
Another year, another holiday season is upon us. Many people enjoy all things holiday from Christmas carols to shopping.
I am not one of those people. Never have been.
As I struggle with issues such as grief, and whether or not I believe in God, this time of year can be highly upsetting.
Keeping my feelings in check and not breaking down in tears because certain traditions I grew up with are gone is tough.
I miss my parents, plain and simple.
Am I ungrateful for all that I have? No. Not at all. They are two separate issues.
It can irritate me to no end to hear people disrespecting their parents. Unless you have lost one or both of them, you have no idea what it is like.
The past few years have seen me have almost nothing for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Thankfully, that has changed.
That does not mean I do not feel a strong sense of loss at this time of year.
I worked in retail most of my life, which allows you to see the worst in human nature this time of year. Nowadays, I try to avoid those huge crowds.
I still shop with a tear in my eye, knowing I will not be giving scratch tickets to my parents. There will be no waking up at midnight to see what Santa left.
Those days are over.
On some days, this comes out as hating Christmas.
I am not the Grinch. I don’t really hate the holidays, I hate the pressure. Pressure to look good, be kind, be gracious…all of it.
Your Christmas will inevitably suck if you don’t get what you want, or your remaining family doesn’t bother to even call to say hi.
Sure, I have great friends here who have become my family, but it really and truly is not the same.
The Grinch in me wants to love the holiday season lock, stock and barrel, yet I don’t. I guess the emptiness I feel this time of year is too all-consuming.
I wish I could hear my father’s laugh, or hear my mother yelling at my father for using incorrect grammar.
So, this is what I ask of you, if you see someone not enjoying themselves, please reach out. They may be missing someone.
Or they just need to talk.
The only way to remove the stigma of feeling like the Grinch at this time of year is to allow people to be where they are.
I remember that first Christmas without mom and how sad dad was. He cried most of the day. Then dad passed away two years later.
My older brother and I still kept Christmas Eve. We would go out to our favorite restaurant and then we would open gifts. Doing that every year is gone since I moved.
Too much distance is between us now.
When we see someone not loving these days, be kind. Maybe they are missing out on traditions they once had too.
I am not the Grinch. My heart is capable of growing.
Mark Longbottom November 27, 2015 at 10:16 am
It’s a hard one and you’re simply being natural and no problem with that, lost my dad and likewise miss everything and spent years without the ability to do christmas and stuff like everyone else. It’s like a wet fish being slapped in your face the way some people parade and flaunt their wealth.
What we have as people is the ability to smile and care about the good things that bring everyone closer together, and there’s no need for financial wealth as long as you’re there to listen.
Grandad for 8 weeks now and she can make anyone smile, life goes on – we just need to reach out and accept people are different which makes them just like US.
Nancy Davis November 27, 2015 at 10:32 am
I completely agree Mark. Having someone around to listen has made all the difference. Life does go on, and sometimes I can look around and not want to cry. We really aren’t so different are we? I think we are more alike than we realize.
Mark Longbottom November 27, 2015 at 10:38 am
Yes Nancy, people are born equal and quickly lose that down the people around them and so often those who govern or create borders and boundaries whether physical or mental. I have nothing yes in reality more inner wealth than any leader of a nation.
I also don’t believe in hard work being the thing that we all have that can change our lives I’ve can vouch for it not working lol – now you got me on a bad day after a recruiter knocked me back a few steps by being a recruiter lol.
What we have as you say is the ability to listen and also talk, we are different so all that’s needed is the ability to accept difference and embrace it as a positive. Some people pay zillions for common sense.
Have a good weekend
Danny Brown November 27, 2015 at 11:20 am
Hey there miss,
Such a timely and thoughtful post. You’re right, this time of year especially, with the greed and consumerism rampant, can be especially hard to take, when the folks that are no longer with us showed the best of humanity.
But, like you say, we honour their memories by keeping their humanity alive in how we approach life, and allowing our hearts to love and love without conditions.
Here’s to the real people.
Nancy Davis November 27, 2015 at 11:45 am
Hey there Sir,
Yes, here’s to the real people indeed. Moving away means not losing out, but making new traditions. I try my best to enjoy life and love others with no conditions. If the only lesson I get from this time of year is to be more aware, then it is worth it.
Here’s to making the best of things.
Joshua Wilner November 28, 2015 at 12:19 pm
It is a hard time of year in general. I don’t have any bad memories associated with this time, but I am not particularly fond of it. The chaos grinds on me a bit.
Nancy Davis November 28, 2015 at 5:07 pm
I have a hard time with the chaos also. Working in retail will make you hate the holidays even more.